Category: outrageously bad movies


Yesterday I was watching the latest serial-killer-suspance-investigation movie and I really had enough.

I understand that since US history is no older than a handful of centuries , american collective imagination  has to make do with it

American mythos and epos are mostly rooted in the present and recent past and this is what makes the Serial Killer such a powerful monster .

This said, I find really annoying this mythicization of the sociopaths.

If it is true that some serial killers have very sharp minds and the shrewdness to play and trick the law enforcement, most of them are just some deeply damaged weirdos that cannot fit inside  society.

For an articulate and charming Ted Bundy there are twenty guys that lack the basic social skills to keep a job or speak to a woman.

We are talking about guys that live with their mothers and don’ t have a job or shy and repressed husbands suffering from erectile disfunction.

There are no Red John or Hannibal Lecter. Forget the jigsaw and Kevin Spacey. These guys are sad and pathetic figures who commit horrible crimes because they are weak and succumb to their lowest impulses.

Since they do what they do  mostly because is their only way to feel powerful and let go of the frustration an the rage and the sadness they keep inside and to get attention I find deeply wrong that cinema gave them so much prestige.

Is like rewarding a child for being nasty.

In the average serial killer movie our serial killer guy is a cunning genius who leads around the detective/hero like a puppeteer and kills its victims quick like a super-villain, disappearing without any trace. Come on! It is exactly how they like to imagine themselves. Why give them satisfaction?!

This also gives an unrealistic opinion of what the general population is really dealing with.

If a serial killer is not caught so easily is because what characterizes his crime is the lack of motive. This is  is what put off the investigation badly. Even a dumb disorganized criminal leaving tons of sperm and hairs on the crime scene in some cases can go free for years if he is not in any way connected to the victim or his blood sample is not in any database.

No need to be an evil genius.

They don’t usually break smoothly in an apartment and prey on beautiful women spleeping in their silken sheets.

They prey on the weaks.

Children, hitchhikers , old women, prostitutes , women coming home late in the poorest suburbs and desperate and naive gay men in search of fun are the most obvious victims.

And you don’ t need to be particularly powerful or sophisticated to prey on people if you have a gun or a knife.










*Spoiler (!) alert*

Having studied a little bit of screenwriting, nothing piss me off more than a movie that cheats on the rules.

Haute Tension is the average splatter french movie of the last generation , with a good direction and decent acting.

Of course you have to like this kind of cinema .

I have very eclectic and personal taste and I like this kind of movie when it is done properly.

Basically I don’t expect a splatter movie to have a particular sophisticated plot but just to be entertaining. Is very risky to try to do something both well done AND original.

Anyway, I find amusing how young french filmakers react to the clichè of french cinema as something traditionally very intellectual and subtly psycological, by throwing buckets of blood and unlimited violence into their movies.

I will do the same if all the movies I have grown up with were centred on naked people talking on an unmaid bed.

So this movie has the average quota of blood and extreme violence.

The plot is that this girl is going to the country house of her friend to spend the weekend there with her family. Then a killer arrives and starts to chop the entire family.

A little boring but this is what you expect watching this kind of movies.

But then you discover that behind this plot there are two screenwriters full of themselves that have the need to feel clever at any cost.

An what is better to be brilliant and prove to the world that you are extremely clever than the alreday-seen-in-every-movie-after-fight-club-twist of “look everything was in her mind, she is really the killer”?

Yes. Once again the main character did all the killing because is nut and has multiple personalities.

This alone is very annoying after hundreds of movies based on this same plot twist, but there is more!

Because our screenwriters Alexandre Aja and Grégory Levasseur are smarter!

And they know that the multiple personality card is what everybody who has seen at least an handfull of movies in the last decade expects.

So what do they do? They cheat!

They put a scene in which we see the “killer”, an ugly man in overalls, in another place doing something else!

While the girl are in the car going toward the country we see a dirty van parked in a field. Inside there is the killer sexually playing with a severed head ( OMG! Now we understand that he is really-really-really bad!)

Done this,  the most-intelligent-screenwriters on the planet pats themselves on the shoulder and says “Now that we have showed the audience that there IS a man with IS OWN VAN, nobody would think that it is all in her mind! How clever of us! AH!”

If the killer his in her f***ing mind he CAN’T be in a different place, you assuming ignorant idiots!!!!

And don’t even dare to play the “dream” card ! Is something they teach you in the first screenwriting lesson that you never-ever-ever-ever can bullshit the audience with the “it was all a dream” trick!

What? What are you saying? You were not at class that day? Yes, I believe you.

Your plot twist is the usual simplistic crap and you don’t even have the guts to risk to be discovered before the end of the first act!!!

Now please Alexandre Aja keep yourself to directing, since you are quite good at it ,and let the professionals  do the screenplay!