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geniodimale

Yesterday I was watching the latest serial-killer-suspance-investigation movie and I really had enough.

I understand that since US history is no older than a handful of centuries , american collective imagination  has to make do with it

American mythos and epos are mostly rooted in the present and recent past and this is what makes the Serial Killer such a powerful monster .

This said, I find really annoying this mythicization of the sociopaths.

If it is true that some serial killers have very sharp minds and the shrewdness to play and trick the law enforcement, most of them are just some deeply damaged weirdos that cannot fit inside  society.

For an articulate and charming Ted Bundy there are twenty guys that lack the basic social skills to keep a job or speak to a woman.

We are talking about guys that live with their mothers and don’ t have a job or shy and repressed husbands suffering from erectile disfunction.

There are no Red John or Hannibal Lecter. Forget the jigsaw and Kevin Spacey. These guys are sad and pathetic figures who commit horrible crimes because they are weak and succumb to their lowest impulses.

Since they do what they do  mostly because is their only way to feel powerful and let go of the frustration an the rage and the sadness they keep inside and to get attention I find deeply wrong that cinema gave them so much prestige.

Is like rewarding a child for being nasty.

In the average serial killer movie our serial killer guy is a cunning genius who leads around the detective/hero like a puppeteer and kills its victims quick like a super-villain, disappearing without any trace. Come on! It is exactly how they like to imagine themselves. Why give them satisfaction?!

This also gives an unrealistic opinion of what the general population is really dealing with.

If a serial killer is not caught so easily is because what characterizes his crime is the lack of motive. This is  is what put off the investigation badly. Even a dumb disorganized criminal leaving tons of sperm and hairs on the crime scene in some cases can go free for years if he is not in any way connected to the victim or his blood sample is not in any database.

No need to be an evil genius.

They don’t usually break smoothly in an apartment and prey on beautiful women spleeping in their silken sheets.

They prey on the weaks.

Children, hitchhikers , old women, prostitutes , women coming home late in the poorest suburbs and desperate and naive gay men in search of fun are the most obvious victims.

And you don’ t need to be particularly powerful or sophisticated to prey on people if you have a gun or a knife.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

BreeeaaaaadIf I hear one more time that bread is fat I am gonna scream.

I can’t stand this idiotic trend of hyper proteic diets.

Why women are so stupid when it comes down to their diet?

Yes, of course if you eat nothing but proteins and veggies you will slim down very quickly but that is not the point!

Beside the obvious damage for your liver and kidney due to Ketoacidosis , but speaking only with aesthetic in mind, if you start with a hyper protein regime either you keep it for the rest of your life or as soon as you bite into a carb you will start to get fat again.

I have not a degree to sustain my opinion but I have a long story of dieting and some sense.

Once and for all : CARBS ARE NOT FAT AND THEY ARE NOT DANGEROUS.

The amount of fat in 100 gr of bread is a lot lower than that of 100 gr of non fat red meat.

How by that?

Carbs of course have quite an amount of calories. Big deal.

It is just a matter of quantities.

Stop being scared of carbs and avoiding them  like they were zombies eager to transform you in something horrible.

There are no foods you cannot put in a slimming diet.

Did you know that butter has less calories than olive oil? This  said olive oil is usually processed more easily by the body.

Did you know that pasta has more or less the same amount of calories than rice?

And there are many more false believes that even I that I am not a nutritionist could list.

So stop being scare of food! It is YOU that are suppose to eat IT and not the contrary!

And stop behaving like teenagers trying some stupid diet to shed kilos before the prom.

 

 

 

 

 

Nerds at over 11,900 feet

Hello fellow nerds!

I am writing this post because I am very proud to say that we have been roleplaying (and I don’t mean sexually) at over 11,900 feet above sea level on the mountains!

During this summer mountain expedition aiming to reach one of the highest shelter in Europe, Capanna Margherita on top of Monte Rosa (and by the way, we did it ^-^), when we stopped for the night at the base shelter, we managed to take out dice and character sheets and played at 3647 metres on sea level among tough muscular guys drinking grappa.

Maybe there has been nerds on Himalaya base camp too, but i am not aware of it. If anybody can notify something about it please let me know!

Usually we nerds stay pretty much always in front of a screen. Since Amazon there is even no need anymore to go to the comic store.

It is a great day for nerds!

I have just finished A Dance with Dragon of old George R R Martin.

I was with him long before he become so famous.

With him is always the same.

Like a lifelong bastard lover he leaves me for years and I swear I don’t love him anymore. I swear that he is not so amazing and I can happily live without him in my life.  After the mild delusion of our last reunion for A Feast for Crows I thought that I was finally over him.

But then he comes back.

Bad tempered, dirty and with a long beard and I am again clinging at his fat leg telling him how much I love him and pleading that he won’t go away again.

But he goes anyway.

So now I am once more at home alone waiting for him and his stupid The Winds of Winter!

I only have my memories of the amazing moments spent togheter to share with all his others lonely lovers. And make projects on how will it be the next time.

And even if I feel really badly mistreaten to have to wait for at least five years I cannot avoid sighing and longing for the Bearded Bastard to come back in my life.

People cannot have fun

 

 

I’ve reach the conclusion that people watch movies because they want to feel clever.

I’ve just watched the Human Centipede.

People have felt deeply insulted by this movie.

It is a horror flick in wich a german mad scientist kidnap two helpless american girls and a japanese guy, with the purpouse of creating a triple siamese twin by stictching them togheter by their gastric system.

Now. If you rent or buy this movie I would fairly suppose that you know the plot.

So what the f**k were you expecting from it?!

It is  a movie about a german mad scientist that kidnap two  american girls and a japanese guy, to create a triple siamese twin by stitching them togheter by their gastric system, for God Sake!!!!!

Dieter Laser doing the mad Dr Heiter is super charismatic. It gives us one of the best super villain in the history of cinema.

The two actresses are quite convincing as two not so smart but goodlooking tourists.

The movie has a good direction.

It doesn’t even indulges to much in the gore just for the sake of it.

And it has a human centipede.

What else do you want?

It is stupid? Oh My !

IT IS A MOVIE ABOUT A GERMAN MAD SCIENTIST THAT KIDNAP TWO AMERICAN GIRLS AND A JAPANESE GUY AND STITCHES THEM TOGHETER TO CREATE A HUMAN CENTIPEDE!!!!!

If you have to feel clever by saying that this movie is stupid you probably are not.

It is like when people went to watch M Night Shyamalan movies so they could say they got the twist sooner than everybody else.

My God, relax! It is entertainment. You are suppose to enjoy it. Have fun.

Or instead go watch movies like Inception. It has a completely screwed up screenplay but since it is uselessly elaborate people don’t notice so you can pretend you got it and feel good about yourself.

 

 

 

 

Harajuku girl Kyari Pamiyu Pamiyu!

Now I already cannot live without.

I think she even beats the AKB48

PON PON WAY WAY WAY

PONPON WAY WAY PONPON!

Yummy!

Sometimes you wonder if you are the only thinking human being left.

I feel insulted by some advertising. Am I the only one to notice?

I am talking about advertising and fashion spread in which they show models eating.

I think that very few women can feel at ease having someone taking pictures of them while eating.

But the result is really grottesque when the girl in question is maybe not a terrific actress and terrified by food!

Look at these pictures of girls “happily” eating!

The feeling is like when kids pretend to be eating a bug.

Oh yes Heidi we sooo believe that you usually eat hamburger and fries (Look how her mouth doesn’t really make contact with food).

Look at their grinning tense mouth. Those are not smiles. Do you see  how they can barely tolerate the contact of the food against their teeth? They are trying to stoically endure the struggle for as long as it takes the shooting but they are almost in panic. Can you see the look of terror in their eyes?

Some of the best are of course those  involving chocolate and sweets!

Poor Mila Kunis can endure the exhausting routine of a professional dancer but she cannot for the love of God to pretend to be eating cotton candy ( I’m sure that  in her shoes Natalie Portman would practice day and night how to eat sugar before the photo shoot )

Are we seriously supposed to believe that these women would happily eat chocolate? Chewing some lettuce. Even biting an apple maybe. But chocolate?!

They would hate themsalves for months if they did.

You can plainly see that the poor girls are in panic “OMG! What if accidentally my tongue will touch the chocolate?! Please let it be over soon so I can go and wash my mouth! And maybe throw up a little bit just in case”.

And apparently some of them, like Jessica Alba, don’t even remember that the food is supposed to be going through the mouth and simply keep it in their hand. Not to close to the face.

I know it is not nice to make fun of eating disorders. And actually I am not.

I have nothing but sympathy for these poor fragile girls. What piss me off are the dumb art directors and photographers behind these shots.

Hey you idiots! Don’t you see what are you putting this girls through? Don’t you see the ludicrous result in the pictures?!                 You should be selling the idea of love for food not the terror of it!                                                                                                                   Do you know that there are million of beautiful photogenic, if not ultra skinny,  girls that can bite into chocolate without hating themselves? Oh  I see…  you only want to use models of course. You are classy.

Let me show you something, THIS is a model eating.

And probably she will not even finish that apple.

*Spoiler (!) alert*

Having studied a little bit of screenwriting, nothing piss me off more than a movie that cheats on the rules.

Haute Tension is the average splatter french movie of the last generation , with a good direction and decent acting.

Of course you have to like this kind of cinema .

I have very eclectic and personal taste and I like this kind of movie when it is done properly.

Basically I don’t expect a splatter movie to have a particular sophisticated plot but just to be entertaining. Is very risky to try to do something both well done AND original.

Anyway, I find amusing how young french filmakers react to the clichè of french cinema as something traditionally very intellectual and subtly psycological, by throwing buckets of blood and unlimited violence into their movies.

I will do the same if all the movies I have grown up with were centred on naked people talking on an unmaid bed.

So this movie has the average quota of blood and extreme violence.

The plot is that this girl is going to the country house of her friend to spend the weekend there with her family. Then a killer arrives and starts to chop the entire family.

A little boring but this is what you expect watching this kind of movies.

But then you discover that behind this plot there are two screenwriters full of themselves that have the need to feel clever at any cost.

An what is better to be brilliant and prove to the world that you are extremely clever than the alreday-seen-in-every-movie-after-fight-club-twist of “look everything was in her mind, she is really the killer”?

Yes. Once again the main character did all the killing because is nut and has multiple personalities.

This alone is very annoying after hundreds of movies based on this same plot twist, but there is more!

Because our screenwriters Alexandre Aja and Grégory Levasseur are smarter!

And they know that the multiple personality card is what everybody who has seen at least an handfull of movies in the last decade expects.

So what do they do? They cheat!

They put a scene in which we see the “killer”, an ugly man in overalls, in another place doing something else!

While the girl are in the car going toward the country we see a dirty van parked in a field. Inside there is the killer sexually playing with a severed head ( OMG! Now we understand that he is really-really-really bad!)

Done this,  the most-intelligent-screenwriters on the planet pats themselves on the shoulder and says “Now that we have showed the audience that there IS a man with IS OWN VAN, nobody would think that it is all in her mind! How clever of us! AH!”

If the killer his in her f***ing mind he CAN’T be in a different place, you assuming ignorant idiots!!!!

And don’t even dare to play the “dream” card ! Is something they teach you in the first screenwriting lesson that you never-ever-ever-ever can bullshit the audience with the “it was all a dream” trick!

What? What are you saying? You were not at class that day? Yes, I believe you.

Your plot twist is the usual simplistic crap and you don’t even have the guts to risk to be discovered before the end of the first act!!!

Now please Alexandre Aja keep yourself to directing, since you are quite good at it ,and let the professionals  do the screenplay!

Olivia Wilde

When she first appeared on Dr House we were all impress with how amazingly beautiful she was.

Even to much for me. Too perfect, too cold. Boring.

Then I stopped watching the show and I lost track of her.

One day my younger cousin was saying he had a crush on her and so I knew she had become famous.

But we all know that with notoriety along come paparazzi.

And recently have surfaced a lot of candid of Olivia “13” Wilde.

And here she is! A young woman with a stunning face and the perfect average body!

 

She is completely flat chested even without being extremely skinny.

She has a non descript booty and a tiny shade of cellulite on her tights.

 

And she has some remarkably short and full legs!

What is to say?

I like her!

I like this girl with an amazing face and a girl-next-door real body!

I like her now that she is no more in the Angelina and Megan Olympus and has lost her mystic aura of divine flawlessness!

Now that she walks with her perfect angel face among us common people!

 

N.B. I still have to form an opinion regarding her acting skills. In Cow Boys and Aliens they didn’t look too good.

 

 

 

Zombies DON’T run

Zombies are my favourite monsters.

And that is because they are unconventional ones for many reasons.

A single zombie is no great threat. You can easily avoid or beat one.

Zombies are not super strong.

They have human-like  senses  (according to some , they have a very keen sense of smell).

They are stupid.

They are clumsy.

They are slow.

What make the zombies a great danger is their number , their stamina and the fact that they infect the people they bite creating new zombies.

And when your friend Bob or your brother is turned into a zombie and comes at you with his mouth open trying to eat you alive you really have to steel yourself to discourage him by crushing this skull.

So the threat presented by a zombie  is more subtle than simply  the fact that a dead guy is trying to feed on your meat. Sometimes the dead guy can be your dead guy.

You can argue that vampires do the same thing.

But vampire only turn selected individuals and these keep their personality and their memories.

If your friend Bob come back from the world of death as a vampire and tries to feed on you is probably because you still owe him some money.

Zombies don’t hate you. They are just very hungry.

And now you can say that also werewolves are.

But werwolves stop killing after they have fed. And they only turn into beasts with the full moon.

Being a zombies and being  hungry  are permanent conditions.

There is no need to picture zombies like creatures that run. Almost every other monster  does.

Is too easy if they do it  too.

Zombies are not sprinters they are marathon guys.

Also the zombie stands up in the monsters category because it has no sexual implications.

They are not sexy. They are not pale, they are rotten!

Zombies don’t want eat people to get physically or spiritualy  in contact with them. Zombies feel for people the same sexual attraction people feel for a sandwich ( Yeah I know that you can find every kind of sexual perversion but we are talking in general terms)

And zombie authority Simon Pegg agrees with me!

http://www.guardian.co.uk/media/2008/nov/04/television-simon-pegg-dead-set

By the way Dead Set is good.